Enough Torture, Finally Out of the Misery And Happy New Years!!!!
First and foremost, Happy New Year’s Day gang, and thank you for continuing your support in your outrageous articles and arguments at our virtual oasis. Stay safe and enjoy your day off with family and loved ones on the highways and on the town. Special thoughts and prayers always go out to our troops and civilians protecting our borders and American interests, here at the F’ME. Time to sit back and enjoy a couple of bowl games and watch the upcoming talent as we drool over the college phenomena’s that can instantly upgrade the talent on our team and provide us with more average depth. Remember that just because they look like a stud in college, that they could look like a cretined eunuch while wearing aqua and orange. I plan on drinking myself into amnesia in memory of this season but just one thing bugging me before I check out.
So you finally hit the lottery. You buy yourself a new Ferrari and let the chick who can’t drive a stick rev it, take some pictures after waxing her, hehe, and right before you take it screaming down the boulevard, you drain the oil. That’s about how idiotic you have to be to finally land a franchise QB and after watching him get brutalized by the Patriots wobbling punched-drunk not knowing which sideline was his, let him back in the game when it was all but over. With Jonathan Martin riding shotgun. How any coach or doctor in his right mind would have let him back in is beyond me when the kid couldn’t count to three but who wanted to see Matt Moore throw a TD and start a controversy, huh? This is usually when other QBs throw for an extra 300 yards but we’re the Dolphins. For once I agreed with the announcers. Why risk more injury to Tannehill when we’re down 21 points and if I was Philbin, I would have overruled. This is just one of those games that I just wanted to get out as soon as possible without ruining one of the future starters that you knew might happen. The football gods must have barely been able to contain themselves from death by laughter as they allowed us to march up the field only to have Reggie Bush lay it on the turf, and later disgustingly hurling it when he didn’t get his precious “1K”. Most RBs who want to lead the league in rushing surpass that obsolete milestone. I wonder if Philbin benches him in next spring’s OTAs? I’m not here to bitch and moan as I plan on drinking this nightmare away but there is good news, like the scary dreams you will into a porn dream. It just takes a little imagination and figuring out which pieces need to be replaced first. For the next couple of months we’ll be analyzing every previous play of the last half decade and try to decipher which plays Jeff Ireland was mostly responsible for. The only solace is I see a couple of young blue chips mixed among the acorns: players like Reshad Jones, Ryan Tannehill, Mike Pouncey, Rishard Matthews, and Cameron Wake. Sure, I would resign Brian Hartline but not many more on the free agency list. As much as I was a Jake Long fan, it was a dismal year and who knows if he can ever play at the Pro Bowl level again, but do you risk JMartin again? Now that the season is done, who’s your keepers and who do you bring in for free agency?
Stay safe my friends and best regards from the Chiefen and Squaw here at Fin’s Mob ExoduSS.
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